Does It Need to Be Said?
I just finished the audiobook for Moshe Kasher’s Subculture Vulture, and in it he talks about learning to ask himself three questions before reacting to someone else’s behavior:
- Does it need to be said?
- Does it need to be said right now?
- Does it need to be said by me?
It’s a reset. A reminder that not everything needs my commentary, even if I could say something clever or cutting. I related to a lot of things in the book, we some common experiences in our lives, and I appreciate his perspective on many subjects. But this one in particular I’m trying to integrate more in my daily life.
I’m trying to start using it in work, relationships, even internally. When I want to critique or correct or “fix” someone else’s process. Stop. Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? Does it need to be said by me? More likely than not, the answer will be no to all three.
It doesn’t mean silencing yourself. It means checking your impulse, and choosing to speak when it adds value, not just noise.