Conflicted Compass
I’ve been thinking a lot about balance. Specifically, between being a dad and being a seeker.
There’s a constant tug between wanting to be fully present with Sofi and wanting to go out and explore the world on my own terms. I’ve spent most of my life prioritizing others; family, business, relationships. Now that I’m finally carving space for my own self-discovery, I find myself straddling two worlds.
When I’m with Sofi, everything else fades. I want to soak in every word, every glance, every small new thing she learns. But when I’m away, when I’m traveling or photographing or just walking through a city alone, I feel something light up in me that’s just mine. And then the guilt sneaks in.
I’ve come to realize this balance isn’t about dividing time evenly, it’s more about alignment. Showing Sofi that being a parent doesn’t mean abandoning your own growth. That curiosity, adventure, and self-work aren’t selfish, they’re essential.
I want her to see that love can coexist with independence, and that being whole for yourself is part of being whole for someone else.
Maybe that’s the real lesson: to live fully in both worlds, and let them inform each other instead of compete.