Grief in 2023
I started writing this two days ago, in the hours after I first learned that Lebo had passed away. I tend to take too long trying to perfect my writing before putting it out for the world to see. Actually I do that in other areas of my life too. I’m working on changing that moving forward, partly inspired by the loss of my friend, gone sooner than we would have liked, and in part the culmination of a journey I’ve been on for the past five years (or thirty six depending on perspective).
Today I’m grieving… It trickles beneath the fabric of the day’s tasks, while I try to continue crossing things off my to-do list, because what else can I do? For however many minutes, hours, days, or months it takes to process the impact of this latest loss, there will be an undercurrent of grief. It isn’t the first time it’s happened in my life, and certainly won’t be the last. Each time feels unique, and manifests in its own way. The magnitude varies depending on what headspace I’m in when it happens, and the nature of the particular relationship, but it always leaves some kind of indelible mark on me.
I confess it’s bizarre grieving in 2023. I struggle with sharing my grief publically versus keeping it private, even if limited to a few friends directly. I can’t help but think of people who clamor to be seen for their attachment to a person no longer with us, counterbalanced with the fact that many are just yearning to feel connected with others through a shared sense of loss. Part of that no doubt from a fear of what my own true motives are. I’m trying to focus on the positive more as I get older, and leave the cynic in me to ponder in the void.
David “Lebo” Lebatard, was a force in the Miami artist community, but his influence reached far beyond the 305 area code he represented so authentically. Musicians and creatives across the globe of all sorts have been speaking out these past couple of days; personal anecdotes, ways in which he lifted them up, or served as inspiration from a distance. Even if all of the posts on all of the platforms were compiled in one place, I don’t think it would do justice to the impression he left on this world. I’m not exaggerating for effect, nor do I try to paint him as a saint. He had his flaws like we all do. But he was a force of good in this world, leaving it unequivocally better than he came into it.
Over the past decade, he played a significant role at key moments for me personally. I wish I would have more vehemently expressed gratitude for these in hindsight. He took part in projects I produced, referred newer artists to me, and was a general source of guidance and support. He saw potential in me and was never one to mince words when he gave advice about work or life.
I hope his family is finding comfort where they can as they grieve their loss, and have no doubt there are countless others doing the same.
You can listen to my interview with David here, and while I’m extremely grateful to have our conversation encapsulated, I also can’t help but wish I had learned to give my guests more room to fill back then.